Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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