Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
