You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
