Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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