Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
