why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
