I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
