Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
pray to the hookup gods
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
