Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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