I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
