When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
How's work?
Spinning.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
