So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
