I'm really into asian looking animals
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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