Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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