Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
