she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
