Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
