Sacagawea was the original milf.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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