Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
