I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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