just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
