Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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