She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
