well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
