Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
