Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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