that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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