Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
