Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
