I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
