If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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