Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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