I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
