These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
