i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
