Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
