whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
