Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
