saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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