It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
