I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
