There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
