is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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