Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
