You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
