she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
