your thong is hanging out like whoa
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
