my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
