Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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