South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
