My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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